Watch Your Mouth, part 2 – Be positive!

Our words matter. When our kids were little, they weren’t allowed to say the word “stupid.” One day, my wife was at a crowded grocery store on the same aisle with some of our church members. The girls were sitting in the grocery cart, or, as we call it in the South, the buggy, when suddenly, one of the girls shouted, “Mom, sister just said the ’S’ word!” 

Most people have a different definition of the “S” word.

The words we use are important. In the previous post, we looked at some harmful things we can do with our words. Words aren’t limited to the ones we speak. Spend even just a little time on social media, and you’ll see that the words we write can be just as damaging. 

Our words also have the potential to do good. Words can hurt, but they can also heal. They can lie, or they can tell the truth. Words can lead people in the wrong direction or the right direction. They can draw people away from God or toward God. 

Here’s what James has to say about the tongue, his term for words: 

With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. (James 3:9-12)

One thing we can do with our mouths is praise God, or “bless our Lord and Father.” Probably the best thing we can do with our words is to give thanksgiving and praise to God. How often do you stop and thank God for his blessings? Do you ever pause long enough to express your gratitude for your family, your job, your health, or your home?

When you eat at a restaurant, do you stop and thank God for your food? Maybe we take our gifts for granted, but God didn’t have to provide that food. And if you’re embarrassed that others may see you, that’s kind of the point. When Kim and I say our blessing in a restaurant, we hope someone sees us. You never know what God can do in someone’s heart when they see you praying. 

Notice, though, that James says Christians shouldn’t thank God and sing his praises only to turn around and say something bad about someone else. Every human being was made in the image of God, and none deserve our negative comments. We ought to realize the hypocrisy of praising God and cursing people from the same mouth. We shouldn’t sing praises to God on Sunday morning and then get in the car and yell at each other over where we’ll eat lunch.

So, one positive thing we can do with our words is to praise God. Another is that we can encourage people. You can do incredible things for people when you affirm them and build them up. 

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)

We need to be about building people up, not tearing them down. People need to be corrected at times, sure. But when they hear words of correction from us, have they already heard words of encouragement from us when they did something right?

When I worked in the textile industry, I was the head of plant safety, and we used something called the STOP program. Anytime someone saw a co-worker doing something unsafe, they were to give them a red “STOP” card. The program worked okay, but it took off when we tweaked it. We printed green “GO” cards and handed them out. People were encouraged to give GO cards away when they noticed someone doing something safe, even if the safe way was slower than the unsafe way. It changed the whole attitude in the plant about safety, and we set the company record for the most time without an accident.  

People around you are craving encouragement. They’re living with a great need to be caught doing something well. You can be the encourager they need. Always be ready to give someone a “way to go” or an “attaboy.”

I even have an Attaboy File. It’s a file folder in my desk that holds all the notes of encouragement I’ve received over the years. Sometimes, when things are bad, it helps me to look through the file and read those notes. Somewhere along the way, I’ve helped someone. I’m just like everyone else; I need encouragement, too.

Which brings me to another way you can encourage people — write them a note! This seems like a lost art today, but the impact hasn’t changed. Go to the store, buy a box of cheap notecards and envelopes, and write notes telling people how thankful you are for them. You won’t believe how much this will encourage people.

One of the notes I have is from our son. He wrote a note on my birthday and mentioned something that meant a lot to him. He played baseball from tee-ball through middle school, and he wrote that when I would greet him after a game I would never mention any bad play. I would only point out all the good things he had done in the game. He said he was well aware of any mistakes he made; what he really needed was someone to remind him of the things he did well. 

Encouraging words make a huge difference.

Here’s something we need to realize when it comes to our words. My words reflect my heart. James says a spring of water can’t produce both salt water and fresh water, and you can’t pick olives from a fig tree. What he’s saying is that what comes out of the mouth reflects our true character.

This is what Jesus was talking about when he said, “How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34).

What is it that comes naturally out of your mouth — words or cursing or words of blessing? Whatever is in your heart will sooner or later come out of your mouth. Maybe it isn’t a mouth change you need, but a heart change. If our mouths are going to be used to build people up, then we have to let God change our hearts.

Fortunately, he’s an expert at changing hearts. 

If you’d rather spend your words thanking God instead of complaining to him, or lifting people instead of tearing them down, start by asking God for his forgiveness. Then ask him to change your heart as you work on changing what comes out of your mouth. He’ll do his part. Are you ready to do yours?

Series Navigation

<< Watch Your MouthYour Desires that Battle Within You >>