How’s Your Love Life?

If you could pick one trait that should characterize a Christian, what would it be? If I asked you to write down one word that would define what a Christian is like, what would you write?

As we study John’s first letter, remember that he’s dealing with a crisis of faith in his church. A group of people have left the church and are traveling around preaching heresy and recruiting church members to join them.

As a result, many in the church are wondering who is right. Is it John or those who have left? Are the church members the ones who are Christian? Or are the Christians the ones who left the church?

To answer those questions, John repeats three different “tests” of true Christianity, three areas in which his members can evaluate the false teachers and themselves to determine the true believers. In the previous post, we looked at John’s first use of the “moral” or “obedience” test — keeping God’s commandments. John now reaches out for the apex of that obedience: the “love” test.

Beloved, I am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word that you have heard. At the same time, it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. (1 John 2:7-8)

The command to love one another is old because they’ve heard it before and new because Jesus said it was new. John is remembering one of the most important nights of his life.

Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. (1 John 2:9-10)

Most of us would say we don’t hate anybody. Maybe you have some people in your life in the middle of your love/hate spectrum. Wouldn’t you say there are those you love and others you maybe…tolerate? You don’t hate them, but you wouldn’t say you love them either. After all, love is a strong word. 

John won’t stand for any of that. No, John says, there is no in-between for the Christian. The true believer, who knows God and is walking in the light, loves his fellow believers. The only alternative is that he hates them. John is deliberately shocking us into understanding the call for radical love for one another.

He knows about the command to love one another because he heard it from Jesus that night long before: 

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)

Jesus says, “Love for one another is how people will recognize my followers.” And it isn’t a cheap or shallow love or a warm, fuzzy feeling. Jesus said people will know his true followers because they will have the same love for each other that Jesus has for us. That’s radical love!

John is saying that it isn’t just a lack of sin that characterizes a believer. It’s love. Is that what we see when we look at his church? Is that what the world sees today when they think of Christians, that we love each other?

I’m not asking whether non-Christians think we love them. I’m afraid they aren’t even sure we love each other. 

I remember, in years past, reading our state denominational newsletter, especially the letters to the editor. It was like WWE SmackDown. One of my local pastor-friends wrote a scathing letter about churches with a more contemporary style of worship, which is what our church had. Another pastor wrote an equally biting response. People came to me and asked me to write, but I declined. I didn’t think it served any purpose to fight like that. 

And as someone who served in the local church for 25 years, I can promise you there are people who are hard to love. We once had a staff member who claimed to be a man of God but who also tried to force the pastor out so he could replace him. He developed a loyal following and nearly divided the church before he left. 

It was during this time that one of this person’s followers sat in a meeting and looked right at our pastor, with me sitting beside him, and said, “I told you not to hire him (speaking about me) in the first place, he’s a square peg in a round hole and we don’t want him.” That kind of thing is difficult to hear. I’ve been gossiped about, slandered, lied about, lied to, stabbed in the back, you name it. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the worst I’ve been treated in my life was by people who claimed to be Christians.

I’m not asking for sympathy. That kind of thing goes with being in the ministry. What I’m doing is confessing. I’m saying that it was sometimes difficult for me to love certain people. It isn’t easy to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me, even within the church. 

And then John, who allows no middle ground between love and hate, comes along and says this:

“But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.” (1 John 2:11)

We’re either walking in the light or walking in the darkness. And whoever says he’s walking in the light and hates his fellow believer is still in darkness. 

Jesus calls us to love even those who are unlovable. It’s how people will know we’re believers. And I’m reminded regularly that when Jesus saw me from the cross, I was unlovable. He chose to love me and to give his life for me anyway.

People are going to be unlovable. Choose to love them anyway. Don’t worry about how you feel about them. The feeling may eventually come. Until then, pray for them and serve them as if the feeling was there. And even if the feeling never comes, pray for them and serve them anyway. 

So how about you? 

How’s your love life?

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