When Life Knocks You Down, Let God Lift You Higher

For the last few weeks, we’ve been discussing how to face defeat in life. By “defeat,” I mean a loss, a setback, or a failure—sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes caused by others, and sometimes occurring without clear cause. No matter the source, defeat hurts, confuses, and tests us.

So how can we overcome defeat? What are things we can do, steps we can take when we face defeat to get past it and move forward? Here are a few suggestions.

First, look inside yourself. Even when the loss isn’t your fault, this is a great time for self-reflection. What went wrong? Could I have done something differently? What can I learn from this? Those are all great questions to ask yourself.

If you discover through this process that you made some mistakes along the way, be brave enough to accept responsibility for them. Whether the defeat is your fault or not, when you find things you could have done differently, learn from those mistakes. Give yourself permission to grieve, but focus on the right kind of grief.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, but worldly grief produces death. (2 Corinthians 7:10)

There are two kinds of grief. There is worldly grief, which is loss as the world sees it, as Satan wants you to see it, where there is no hope for the future, no chance of redemption, and is completely demoralizing.

And there is godly grief, which comes from God and always leads to repentance and forgiveness and a clear understanding that God loves you and is going to do great things in you.

A second step you can take when facing defeat is to forget this defeat and focus on the future. I don’t mean to forget in the sense that you don’t learn any lessons, but forget so that you don’t live in regret. Don’t be defeated by your defeat.

Is there a regret in your past that controls you? Are you being manipulated by something you wish you’d never done, or wish you had done? Break free of that memory’s control. Your past is past. Your Heavenly Father has a glorious future in store for you. Let him control you, not your memory. Focus on the future, not on the past.

Third, trust God to work his plan.

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Whether the defeat is no one’s fault, your fault, or someone else’s fault, God will use your defeat to accomplish his good purpose in your life.

Hebrews 11 is often called the “Faith Hall of Fame,” and the author lists people who are absolute winners in their walk with God. But you know what? Many of them faced defeat. Some of them even did screwy things that caused their defeat. Others faced horrible circumstances that were no fault of their own. God used them all in mighty ways despite the defeat they faced.

Think about Abraham, the founder of the Jewish nation, who thought he needed to help God out by sleeping with Hagar. Joseph came out of slavery and prison to become second in command of Egypt, saving millions of people, including his family, from death by famine. Moses, who led the Jews out of Egyptian slavery, killed a man and hit a rock, missing life in the Holy Land. Rahab was a prostitute and is in the genealogy of Jesus. Gideon was used by God to free Israel from Midianite bondage, and he had such little faith in God that he had to use a fleece to determine God’s will. David, the greatest king in all Israel and the one to whom God promised his dynasty would last forever in the person of Jesus, committed adultery and murder.

The Faith Hall of Fame. People who were either flawed or faced horrible situations, and who God used to do great things.

God wants to take your greatest defeat, whatever that is, and turn it into victory as he accomplishes his purpose in you and through you to the world around you.

Paul, the great persecutor of Christians who wrote Romans 8:28, also wrote this:

Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

“Forgetting what is behind” – Paul had been involved in the murder of people whose only crime was trusting Christ. Yet he chose to forget that past. He didn’t lose all of his memories of what he’d done, but he left it behind. It was in the past. Everything he had done was now forgiven. Paul chose to focus instead on that day in the future when he would have a perfect relationship in heaven with the One he had persecuted.

Defeat is never final. You can fall, and fall hard, and be blessed and used by the God who loves you more than you know.

Look inside yourself. Focus on the future. Trust God to work his plan. Remember, every defeat—however painful—is a step God uses to shape you into who he wants you to be. Defeat is not the end, but a beginning for God’s work in you.